There is a way of putting up you guard against he sight of perpetual tragedy. You steel yourself against starving women and bony children, you fix your gaze just beyond the slums and lean-to huts. Everything is seen from behind a veil, from behind the bus window, behind a notebook, behind the security of always knowing you will go home.
But nothing, nothing, can prepared you for the velvet curve of a New Zealand hill. It enters your heart by way of your eyes and then expands inside you. There is simply no way of stopping it, and entering New Zealand is dangerous unless you are prepared to be forever heartbroken, always longing for the glistening bays and the floating islands. The sheep speckled hills melt into mountains and the mountains melt into sky, and after a while you feel the tears fill the spaces between your eyes. You realize that this is so beautiful that it is sad. It is so beautiful it makes you wonder what else could possibly matter...the slums melt away, and that woman's toothless mouth moves silently. The hunger and suffering in the world and in your soul are blown away with that breeze that fills hollow valleys. You can give yourself to the water that turns your body to ice. You can give yourself away. And that is what breaks my heart.
Friday, February 26, 2010
Earl: part 2
Earl stood, contemplating with his large and lopsided eyes, his new chunky immobile legs. He didn't have too many thoughts about the state of himself, as you can imagine, and so merely sat still like a small mountain and the base of a greater one.
Suddenly, a jackrabbit shot out from beneath a pricker bush nearby. Laughing hysterically, the rabbit chattered his two front teeth at Earl and pointed his lucky little paws at him. Earl was not embarrassed, but was intrigued by the speed with which this fuzzy little beast hopped and sprang around him. The rabbit inspected Earl's huge boulder legs and realized the predicament of this odd looking stick boy with the sky in his eyes and the mountains in his legs, and not much else. The rabbit began to run around Earl, as fast as he could, kicking up quite a cloud of dust and pricker thorns. The whirlwind began to move in Earl's leg, and they began to stir. With a giddy yip, the rabbit took off running and caught Earl in his wake and Earl's great legs began to move and jerk along. One lumbering step after another, Earl took off running after the rabbit, and that is how Earl found his speed and mobility.
Earl clomped along merrily, unfortunately the jackrabbit had not taught him how to stop. So along Earl went, his new eyes watering in the breeze, until he ran into a bear. Now I wish I could say he happened upon a bear, but as he could not stop his gait Earl literally ran right into the bear. The bear roared in disbelief at this wild looking creature who had to rudely disturbed him, and rose onto his back legs with his teeth bared. Earl felt no fear, cause he was still rather unsubstantial at this point, and so blinked once or twice and stood still. The bear toddled forward and grabbed a hold of Earl in his mighty arms. He squeezed Earl until hi eyes bulged and wrestled him to the ground. Unfortunately, Earl was so little that the bear hug did little to affect him, and the bear stepped back in surprise. Humbled by Earl's strength (or lack thereof) he bowed his head and grumbled an apology. As a sign of his sincerity, the bear took off his arms and placed them gently on Earl's slight frame. There they hung, furry and huge, and without knowing why Earl reached forward and embraced the bear. Thus Earl had arms, and because there is not much else to do with arms, he learned to hug.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Suddenly, a jackrabbit shot out from beneath a pricker bush nearby. Laughing hysterically, the rabbit chattered his two front teeth at Earl and pointed his lucky little paws at him. Earl was not embarrassed, but was intrigued by the speed with which this fuzzy little beast hopped and sprang around him. The rabbit inspected Earl's huge boulder legs and realized the predicament of this odd looking stick boy with the sky in his eyes and the mountains in his legs, and not much else. The rabbit began to run around Earl, as fast as he could, kicking up quite a cloud of dust and pricker thorns. The whirlwind began to move in Earl's leg, and they began to stir. With a giddy yip, the rabbit took off running and caught Earl in his wake and Earl's great legs began to move and jerk along. One lumbering step after another, Earl took off running after the rabbit, and that is how Earl found his speed and mobility.
Earl clomped along merrily, unfortunately the jackrabbit had not taught him how to stop. So along Earl went, his new eyes watering in the breeze, until he ran into a bear. Now I wish I could say he happened upon a bear, but as he could not stop his gait Earl literally ran right into the bear. The bear roared in disbelief at this wild looking creature who had to rudely disturbed him, and rose onto his back legs with his teeth bared. Earl felt no fear, cause he was still rather unsubstantial at this point, and so blinked once or twice and stood still. The bear toddled forward and grabbed a hold of Earl in his mighty arms. He squeezed Earl until hi eyes bulged and wrestled him to the ground. Unfortunately, Earl was so little that the bear hug did little to affect him, and the bear stepped back in surprise. Humbled by Earl's strength (or lack thereof) he bowed his head and grumbled an apology. As a sign of his sincerity, the bear took off his arms and placed them gently on Earl's slight frame. There they hung, furry and huge, and without knowing why Earl reached forward and embraced the bear. Thus Earl had arms, and because there is not much else to do with arms, he learned to hug.
TO BE CONTINUED...
Ode to Jeremy
Oh what a joy it is to leap,
To break away from those chains that keep
You tethered down and blue.
To allow yourself to laugh out loud
In spite of the faces in the crowd
Who wickedly frown back at you.
For to tiptoe onto the branch is really a wish to fall,
And if you must feel the ground to jump then you should prefer to crawl.
I stood there quaking, knocking knees,
As you watched me from the ground,
But I took a step and then again,
And you smiled at the balance I found.
You told me to jump, breath deep and jump,
And now I wish I did,
For I scratched my belly on the branch
As cautiously down I slid.
Good thing my fear for climbing trees is not my fear for love,
For I've leaped into that mysterious thicket and found it as soft as a dove.
M
Friday, February 5, 2010
Earl
Once upon a time there was Earl. Now to talk about Earl in terms that are understandable to the average person living today I would have to say that Earl was neither male nor female, per se. Neither was he thick nor thin, big nor small, old nor young, nor any of the other binaries with which people are described. Imagine, if you will, a two-dimensional and rather empty figure like a child's drawing hung on a refrigerator in an abandoned apartment building and you will have Earl, no more and no less. And Earl existed, as much as Earl could exist, in a rather dreary world.
Things in Earl's world were colorless, and the other beings were cruel to him (I shall refer to our genderless Earl as "him" to appeal to the limitations of the English language!). His mother-figure didn't pay him any mind, and his father-figure always told him "NO." In fact, all of his friend-figures and brother-figures and sister-figures told him "NO" as well, to the point that Earl could no longer do anything at all. Now as Earl lived in a two-dimensional and rather empty world he didn't feel much of anything, no happiness or sadness, boredom or joy, so the days past and he sat in a world of "NO" for as long as time.
One two-dimensional and rather empty day, Earl began to walk to nowhere in particular. His mother-figure paid him no mind, naturally, but his father-figure stood in his path and said "NO." Earl walked right past. His friend-figures pulled his twig arms, but Earl shook them off and kept walking. All his brother-figures and sister-figures cried "NO" as loud as they could but Earl ignored them until he had walked right out of that two-dimesional and rather empty world altogether.
As Earl walked, the sky noticed him and and followed him for a while. The sky was feeling rather good that day, and shone a deep blue and wore only thin wisps of clouds in a scandalous assortment here and there. He puffed proudly for Earl, but Earl did not so much as glance upwards to the sky, and the sky became angry. The sky threw on a deep purple cape that was dripping with tiny shimmering stars, in order to catch Earl's attention, but Earl kept walking, quite unaware. In a fit of rage the sky took a bit of sun, a dash of cloud and just a hint of starshine and blended it into a ball which he hurled down at Earl, hitting him square in the face. The ball broke into two pieces and became Earl's eyes. For the first time, Earl looked up to the sky and saw.
The sun was setting and the sky wore the colors like a spurned lover, all fire and broken hearts, and Earl gazed upon it in wonder till he couldn't any more.
Now Earl felt no fatigue, as he wasn't made of much of anything, and so he continued walking until he came to a mountain. The mountain was huge, and sat heavily shrouded in mist and clouds. The mountain creaked and groaned under her own weight, and Earl paused to take in such a spectacle. His new eyes felt heavy and awkward on his face and Earl adjusted this way and that to properly see the massive mountain in front of him. Earl looked down at his own two-dimensional self and pondered his twig legs and the mountain saw this rather pathertic dispaly and felt sorry for him. The mountain stood tall and strong, yet settled deeply into the ground, but Earl didn't really stand at all, at any height or with any meaningful weight. He just sort of was. The mountain, being a woman of few words, let loose a couple of fine boulders from her heights and rolled them down her craggy bits right down to Earl where they crashed into him and became his legs. And there Earl stood, tall and proud as any mountain, with eyes that reflected the sky, yet he was too firmly grounded and could not move at all. He was still, just as the mountain, but still felt the need (if you could call it that, you understand) to walk.
...TO BE CONTINUED...
This tale is to be continued in another blogpost. Just something to whet your appetite, but please stay tuned for the continued tale of Earl, and his transformation! Cheers!
Things in Earl's world were colorless, and the other beings were cruel to him (I shall refer to our genderless Earl as "him" to appeal to the limitations of the English language!). His mother-figure didn't pay him any mind, and his father-figure always told him "NO." In fact, all of his friend-figures and brother-figures and sister-figures told him "NO" as well, to the point that Earl could no longer do anything at all. Now as Earl lived in a two-dimensional and rather empty world he didn't feel much of anything, no happiness or sadness, boredom or joy, so the days past and he sat in a world of "NO" for as long as time.
One two-dimensional and rather empty day, Earl began to walk to nowhere in particular. His mother-figure paid him no mind, naturally, but his father-figure stood in his path and said "NO." Earl walked right past. His friend-figures pulled his twig arms, but Earl shook them off and kept walking. All his brother-figures and sister-figures cried "NO" as loud as they could but Earl ignored them until he had walked right out of that two-dimesional and rather empty world altogether.
As Earl walked, the sky noticed him and and followed him for a while. The sky was feeling rather good that day, and shone a deep blue and wore only thin wisps of clouds in a scandalous assortment here and there. He puffed proudly for Earl, but Earl did not so much as glance upwards to the sky, and the sky became angry. The sky threw on a deep purple cape that was dripping with tiny shimmering stars, in order to catch Earl's attention, but Earl kept walking, quite unaware. In a fit of rage the sky took a bit of sun, a dash of cloud and just a hint of starshine and blended it into a ball which he hurled down at Earl, hitting him square in the face. The ball broke into two pieces and became Earl's eyes. For the first time, Earl looked up to the sky and saw.
The sun was setting and the sky wore the colors like a spurned lover, all fire and broken hearts, and Earl gazed upon it in wonder till he couldn't any more.
Now Earl felt no fatigue, as he wasn't made of much of anything, and so he continued walking until he came to a mountain. The mountain was huge, and sat heavily shrouded in mist and clouds. The mountain creaked and groaned under her own weight, and Earl paused to take in such a spectacle. His new eyes felt heavy and awkward on his face and Earl adjusted this way and that to properly see the massive mountain in front of him. Earl looked down at his own two-dimensional self and pondered his twig legs and the mountain saw this rather pathertic dispaly and felt sorry for him. The mountain stood tall and strong, yet settled deeply into the ground, but Earl didn't really stand at all, at any height or with any meaningful weight. He just sort of was. The mountain, being a woman of few words, let loose a couple of fine boulders from her heights and rolled them down her craggy bits right down to Earl where they crashed into him and became his legs. And there Earl stood, tall and proud as any mountain, with eyes that reflected the sky, yet he was too firmly grounded and could not move at all. He was still, just as the mountain, but still felt the need (if you could call it that, you understand) to walk.
...TO BE CONTINUED...
This tale is to be continued in another blogpost. Just something to whet your appetite, but please stay tuned for the continued tale of Earl, and his transformation! Cheers!
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